we have pet lesbian snakes
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
