I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
