I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
