Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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