so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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