my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
