I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
