And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
