That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
