so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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