I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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