He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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