So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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