So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
