it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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