alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
