But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
