I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
my being single is dangerous.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Randomize
