Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
