...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
