I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
