So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
