I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
it's not cheating when I paid for it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
