That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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