it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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