I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
