Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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