my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
