I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize