I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
The beer is more important than you right now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
