I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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