My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
