a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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