i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
