Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
