dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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