I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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