Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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