I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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