He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
