if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize