Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
