Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
