It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
