did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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