Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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