so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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