sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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