and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
