Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
His nipple licking is glorious
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