Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize