i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
why do cheetos always look like penises
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
