I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
