They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
