I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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