Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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