The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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