I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
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