Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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